


I'll See You When I See You

by snowdrops



Series: This is Where Our Story Ends [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Confessions, F/M, Letters, Post-Canon, Post-War, bookman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 20:27:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6822826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowdrops/pseuds/snowdrops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She writes him one last letter, two years after the war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll See You When I See You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this [post](http://kushandwizdom.tumblr.com/post/144136883943) on tumblr.  
> The quote is:
>
>> "and even if you’re not here to stay, I’m happy the universe allowed your soul to stop by."

_13 February 1839_

Dear Lavi,

It’s been two years since the war. How have you been? Healthy and happy, I hope. Which ~~part of the world~~ war, in which part of the world, are you recording now? You’re probably on the sidelines, which is probably safer than where you were during our war. Stay safe, won’t you?

Kanda and Allen ~~are~~ have been travelling together. I know, it’s unbelievable. Kanda says his seal is running out, and that he has around six months left, maybe a little less. He told me over our last golem call to tell you that he’ll meet you in hell. I didn’t want to include that in this letter, but since he requested, I have no choice.

Allen was ~~hit real hard~~ bitten really badly by the wanderlust bug. He sends his best wishes, by the way, and says he hopes you’re well. If not for Kanda I’m sure we would have lost track of Allen’s whereabouts by now. You know how his directional sense is…

They’ve been to Spain to visit Daisya’s family, Russia, India, Ethiopia and apparently they’re in Siam now. They say they’ve never seen you on their travels, which doesn’t surprise me. Can’t find who doesn’t want to be found, right? And even though I have your address, I don’t even know if you’re staying there. Bookmen are always on the move, after all. But I really hope you get this somehow or another, because postage is really expensive, you know.

I’m ~~in~~ back in Shanxi with brother. We’ve been here for slightly over two weeks. ~~, but we’ll~~ We'll be moving back to London next month or maybe the month after. Shanxi is my hometown, but the Order is the only home I’ve ever known. I guess I’m just too used to London. And I want to be there when Allen and Kanda finally return. They’ve been on the road for almost a year now.

I miss you at times, you know? ~~It used to be worse, but now it's better.~~ Sometimes I wake up with your voice in my head, asking me to forget you. You thought I was asleep when you said it, didn’t you? That ~~last~~ night before the war. I heard it all, because I was awake, ~~and~~ wondering if I should tell you how much I ~~loved love~~  loved you, in case we never made it. But I was scared, and I didn’t want to make you ~~have to~~ choose between me and Bookman. You probably would say you wouldn’t have had to choose, but I know that’s a lie, Lavi. Or are you Bookman now? I wouldn’t know.

I guess you’ve been refusing to reply my letters for two years straight because you want me to forget you. ~~That would make sense, in some odd way.~~ But I’ll tell you that I can’t just forget you like that. There’s always going to be a void in my life where you were, Lavi, though it isn’t really your fault. I don’t blame you for leaving, because you were a Bookman before you were an Exorcist and I knew that from the start. And since you do want me to let you go, then I will try to. ~~This will be my~~ I’ve told Kanda and Allen that this will be my last letter to you; ~~I'll put these~~ after I send this I’ll just keep you in my memories.

I want you to know that I really loved, really love you. You gave me so much, so much more than a Bookman should have ever given. And for everything that you gave me, thank you, with all of my heart. If there is a life after this one ends, I hope we can meet and fall in love again like a normal girl and a normal boy. No rules, no Akuma, no wars. So ridiculously cheesy, isn’t it? I’ve turned into a sap in your absence, see. But for now, in this life, I guess this is where our story has to end. You always left ~~it to me to~~ the ending for me to decide, didn’t you? I ~~’d like to~~ think I’m ready now.

Until we meet again, Lavi.

~~Love,~~

With all my love,  
_Lenalee Lee_

* * *

 

PS. Allen and Kanda will be returning to London in early May. If you want to see Kanda again, that’s when you should go. ~~And as for me – I’ll see you when I see you.~~

**Author's Note:**

>  **Note:**  
>  Siam: Modern-day Thailand  
> She knows his address but she's not visiting him & Kanda/Allen don't either, because he explicitly told her, _letters only_. And she respects that even though she really, really hates it.
> 
> I wrote this entire letter by hand in class and was actually considering posting it in handwritten form for reality's sake. But logic won over and I decided not to, because I don't have a scanner with me at the moment. 
> 
> I'm not very sure if I got Lenalee's tone right; I've never written from her POV before, but this was good practice... I broke my own heart writing it.
> 
> If you liked it please leave a kudos or a comment! I'd appreciate it a lot.


End file.
